One Way Conversations

Updated: Feb 14, 2021

I miss you!

I miss us!

I miss us being the friends that we used to be!

Someone who used to be a good friend once said this to me and I told him "You kept burning the bridges and I kept building them back. This one time, I decided to let it be!". The conversation ended with him asking "Can we at least try to be friends .. like before?". I never replied to that last message and that was the end of it.

Often we have one way conversations in our head with people we wish to talk to, with people who left quite a few questions unanswered, with people who left this world. We build scenarios which we would have wanted to see turn into reality or hoped that it would be our reality someday.

I have these one way conversations quite often, in the night, after a long day at work, when my head finally touches the pillow and I close my eyes waiting for sleep to come to me. For a very long time, I had these with him, where I would tell him all about my day and hear him say what he would have if he was there. I have had the last conversation that he & I had in so many different ways and tried to end a few of those in my favour. (:

When I go for my evening walks, although the headsets are plugged in my ears, some song is playing in the background, but in actuality, I keep having these conversations in my head.

These conversations help me or maybe they don't. But I'd like to believe they help me because in these conversations, I have my people - with me, beside me, walking along with me. What I cannot share with anyone in words, I share it with myself during these conversations. What I cannot tell to someone in person / over a call, I tell it to them during these conversations in my head. Probably they will never get to know about it in real life because It will always stay as a figment of "conversation I wish to have with them but I can't" in my head.

I have had a conversation in every those moments with the people with whom I wish to relive that moment but in a different way than what it actually was.

Do you think it is crazy to have these conversations? Or do you also do this?

I miss me!

I miss the person I used to be!

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